A Skeptic’s Path to Prayer

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“I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go. My own wisdom and that of all about me seemed insufficient for that day.” Abraham Lincoln It’s easy to depend on intellect and experience when everything is going well, but when hard times arrive, the…

Memories of Grace and a Drop of Doubt

 Memories of Grace and a Drop of Doubt 640 480 Thayer Fox

I don’t remember much about my childhood. Thankfully, my mother lovingly documented it in a hunter green album. Aside from being crafty, my mother is also a skilled storyteller and throughout my adult life has attached narratives to many of the photos. Which memories are mine and which are hers are unclear, but there are…

A New Way to View Our Vices

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Do you have a vice? Many small ones? One massive one? What do you do habitually to release pressure when your system floods with emotion? Grab a bagel? Smoke a cigarette? Call a friend to “vent/gossip”? How long does relief last? Does self-loathing follow? I define a vice as anything I use to detach from…

Notes From a Silent Meditation Retreat

 Notes From a Silent Meditation Retreat 511 478 Thayer Fox

Friday Evening: I arrive at the Garrison Insitute late afternoon and check in to a closet-sized room. At dinner before the opening program, women near me discuss their concerns about being silent for three days. I wish they would stop talking, but I join in, so they don’t get offended. At 7pm a bell rings, and…

How to Create an Irreplaceable Union

 How to Create an Irreplaceable Union 513 640 Thayer Fox

I love my husband now more than ever. When I used to hear older couples say that love deepens with time, I would roll my eyes and interpret that sentiment as a nice way of saying, “marriage is boring but we are old, tired and less attractive so we say this to make it bearable.”…

Redefining Loyalty: How Loving Opposition Can Help Us Grow

 Redefining Loyalty: How Loving Opposition Can Help Us Grow 640 480 Thayer Fox

We all crave loyalty. Associated with honor, loyalty is demonstrated by a “Going down with the ship”, “No man left behind”, “No matter what” mentality. Loyalty is cited in Psychology Today as one of the top three qualities people look for in a relationship. An ironclad contract with no wiggle room, loyalty keeps marriages intact…

ceiling of the Pantheon in Rome

The Everlasting Solution to All Our Troubles

 The Everlasting Solution to All Our Troubles 640 480 Thayer Fox

Mid-life, there is no place left to hide. The panic that follows this realization is such a common phenomenon in our society that we’ve named it. Over the years, I’ve witnessed and supported friends in the grips of a “mid-life crisis”. Buried beneath their unlived lives, excavation is an overwhelming prospect. Change comes at a…

photo by David Hofmann

Dharma: Bringing Forth What Is Within You

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What is it that you can’t stop being? I’m not referring to your job, your to-do list or your identity as a parent or partner. What are you unconsciously doing or being as you go through your daily routine? What grabs your attention? When do you feel clear and charged like you downed an espresso?…

The Hallway: The Space Between the Comfortable and the Unknown

 The Hallway: The Space Between the Comfortable and the Unknown 1024 1006 Thayer Fox

Have you gone through a period where you no longer fit comfortably into your life? The old routines, relationships and ways of thinking that used to yield results and fulfillment no longer work? You are confused because you are doing everything right. You feel alone because you don’t know how to describe what you are…

Look for the Heroes

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Last week on Lexington Avenue I witnessed a new breed of hero.  I was walking with my ten-year-old daughter when we heard yelling behind us. We turned around to see a man in a suit cursing at three construction workers. He continued to yell profanities as he walked down the block towards us. One of…